


He Knew That

by emkjason



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, Loneliness, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 17:16:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8541880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emkjason/pseuds/emkjason
Summary: Josh was a lot of different things. He knew that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is much more sad than most of my other stories, so I apologize. This is sort of based on how I am feeling right now, so that is why it is a bit deeper and more sad than my other stories. I still hope you enjoy though.

Josh was needy. He knew that. He knew that he always texted first. He was the first to smile and wave when he walked into high school and saw his best friend. He was the first to ask for a hug, and the first to start complaining about his problems. He always started conversations. Tyler never started the conversations, except with Jenna. Tyler always loved to talk to Jenna, which made Josh’s heart start to ache and his eyes well up with tears that he quickly bit back and tried to swallow. He was used to the sequence by now. He would text Tyler. Tyler would say he’s busy and at a party or a dance or with Jenna. Josh would mention something about that being super fun and Tyler would shoot back saying that they should hang out this weekend. Funny thing is, they never did. 

Josh was lucky. He knew that. He was best friends with Tyler Joseph, who just so happened to be the most popular guy at their high school. To get a moment with Tyler was worth a million dollars to Josh, but he couldn’t help but wish for more. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and kept reminding himself that he should smile when he sees Tyler in the hallway, linked arm in arm with Jenna. Josh had one night with Tyler, which was simultaneously the best and worst night of his life. He was lucky to have Tyler, but Tyler was cursed to have him.

Josh was lonely. He knew that. He felt that familiar ache in his chest when he saw posts on social media of Tyler calling Jenna his “best, best friend”. Josh wasn’t part of the picture anymore. He was thought of as weird. He didn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or even a friend. He was alone. Whereas Tyler’s phone never stopped beeping, Josh only got texts from Tyler, and even those were limited. He got home every day and locked himself up in his room, with his only interaction being his worried mother who yelled up the stairs every once in a while and a peppy border collie that checked in every hour. 

Josh was in love. He knew that. He knew it at soon as he saw Tyler Joseph in freshman year, when he still had braces and didn’t know anything about basketball. He was on Josh’s social level then, and he should have taken the chance, but he didn’t. Josh was swept up in Tyler’s pretty, pretty eyes and perfectly imperfect teeth. Josh constantly felt a pitter patter in his stomach when he thought of the skinny legs and toned arms and the smile… That smile always got him. So when Josh finally was invited to a party, he got in his car and drove to the other side of town. That was possibly the worst thing he had ever done. He had gotten some idea in his head that perhaps Tyler would be interested in him because Tyler was a little drunk and Josh was a little high and they both ended up in the corner of the room talking. They were talking until they were kissing and then they weren’t kissing and Tyler was leaving. 

Josh was depressed. He knew that. He felt the familiar ache in his chest when he watched Tyler Joseph spin on his heel and run out the front door of whoever’s house it was, wiping his mouth in the process. Josh couldn’t chase after him and apologize and say he’s sorry, he’s sorry, he’s so fucking sorry, Tyler. 

Josh was dying. He knew that. He was needy and lucky and lonely and in love and depressed and dying. He was everything at once but he felt like absolutely nothing because he was absolutely nothing to the boy that meant everything to him. The constant ringing in his ears and the ache in his chest were painful beyond belief. Tyler wouldn’t look at him anymore. He wouldn’t talk to him. All he would do is keep his arm wrapped around the waist of his brand new girlfriend and best friend, Jenna Black, and move his eyes across the room whenever Josh walked in. The shaky hands and the swirling ceiling fan were too much for Josh’s needy, lucky, lonely, in love, depressed, and dying brain. So when Josh’s mom yelled up the stairs to check to see if he was okay, she didn’t get a response. 

He’s so, so sorry, Tyler. He knew that.

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read my other works yet, you should check them out. They are both pretty long and happy. Please leave me comments because they make my day a little bit brighter. Thank you for reading!


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